Many of you who have followed me for years know that the birth of my daughter was by c-section. We planned to have an out of hospital birth at the birth center, but due to some circumstances at the end of my pregnancy, I had to go to the hospital to be induced .

My induction lead to a cesarean. It broke my heart at the time, and I wish I had photos of that day and my daughter’s first moments. The OB didn’t even hold her baby over the curtain for me to see. I heard my baby crying and I knew everything was fine. Josh said, ‘it’s a girl, it’s a girl’, and I could tell HE was crying. Then he said, ‘she’s so beautiful’. He was standing on the other side of the curtain, and I only have this auditory memory, but no visual ones.

Since that time, I’ve become a birth worker, a birth photographer and doula. I’ve attended 8 years of births, some at home, others in the hospital, some are C-sections - all are beautiful. The one thing they all have in common is that their birth story is the day a family meets the new love of their life. No one forgets this day. Its one you hold onto your entire life.
Your birth matters and the wants and needs that you have for your birth matter. Those wishes shouldn’t stop at an Operating Room door, they should be honored whenever possible, because every family remembers their birth day and they remember the good AND the bad.

My dear friend Monet shared this on her Instagram page the other day, we’ve known each other for 8 years and it’s funny that she chose to write this because I’ve been thinking about it a lot lately.

“Cesarean birth may have been your first plan, or your last plan. It may have been peaceful, traumatic, gentle, or scary. Like all birth, the feelings around cesarean birth can be complex. But as someone who has witnessed over 50, I can attest the bravery and strength of every family that is wheeled into the OR.
…
And while I’m at it: I hope we move towards a place where every birthing person can have a doula or a professional birth photographer back in the OR with them (if they desire). We know how to work safely, we respect the staff and surgeons, we know the rules (and follow them). But it’s always hard when some of my clients get these moments…support…and others don’t. Sometimes at the same hospital I’ve been at even just a month before.

If you’re an anesthesiologist or a charge nurse or an admin on an LD floor: just know that this matters to many families. “ — Monet

Please do not say: “You wouldn’t want to see that” - because that is not your choice to say or make. They DO want these photos, because they DO want to see their baby being born.

Please do not make an excuse that they reason I cannot come back is because, “the space is too small.” I’ve attended births in tiny hospital rooms and crowded bathrooms - there is enough room, that is not a valid reason to not allow someone photos of the day their baby was born. It’s just not.

Please be human and think of what your client wants. This is their birth and their birth matters.

One of the places that I’ve attended a few cesarean births since moving to Michigan is at the University of Michigan hospital. Here is a beautiful planned caesarean birth that I was grateful to attend. It was clear their OB understood the photos mattered to this family - and he made sure to honor their wishes. This is what support looks like.
Here are just a few of my favorite photos from this birth. Please leave a comment or kind word for this family.